"...A fragment of mysterious matter, which is known as Chaos. A source of energy, which creates and splits the Universe... Compressed in a compact form with a strict geometrical delineation, it resembled an emerald. But even in this material form it was too huge for an ordinary jewel ― as if it hinted at the inconceivable universal potential, which was hidden inside. From the depth of self it shed a radiance, as if it was a far-distant supernova somewhere in the space. This shining captured me, enslaved my mind and try to contact me, but I couldn`t hear it. I gazed on it like entranced, unable to tear myself away, but I couldn`t find a thing, which I tried to discern so hard. In front of me there was a real Philosopher`s Stone ― substance, which used to exist only as a myth, created by the desperate minds. Throughout the centuries they wasted their own lives and knowledge for a charming dream ― wasted in vain. But here it is, just in my hands ― what fate has promised me a myth embodied? Shall I manage to create an Elixir of Life, or shall I sink into oblivion, like the others before me, who have been already absorbed and demolished by their myth? The myth, which was deceptive, like the Truth, and alluring, like the Eternity..."
"...I doubt an average human would think about perfection, while looking on this creature. As I look on it, I can not help wondering ― why all the most perfect achievements of humanity should always take the most detestable shapes? Progress in mechanics expresses in the war, creativity and inventiveness ― in the instruments of torture, potential of emotions and wealth of language ― in vulgarity and rudeness. An ambitious genius managed to create life, ending up by giving birth to a monster. An unselfish doctor sought for a medicine, ending up by bringing a disease. An outstanding scientist deduced a formula of a perfect source of energy, ending up by using it as the most dreadful weapon in the history. Finally, I created perfection as well. It was so grandiose and mythical, that I hardly hoped to ever see it. Now here it is in front of me, but it looks so dismal, that I can hardly look... Huge, creepy and extremely aggressive monster. It resembled some prehistoric pangolin more likely, than a perfect outcome of organic evolution. Nevertheless, that was it. This creature did need no food, no sleep or rest; it ignored any diseases, its bones were harder than steel, its skin was more durable, than any fabric in the world. Its almost perfect body had only one disadvantage ― it was not perfect. Like a nugget, it was unique and perfect only by itself. It could not share its merits with anybody, its life could create another one. The ultimate life form appeared to be ultimately useless ― sounds as ridiculous, as depressing. But the most horrible is to remember, that this awful creature used to be a normal furrian. Lost of speech, look and clear mind ― so was the price for perfection. That reminds condition of an alchemist in the twilight of his life after the decades of futile searching for the Elixir of Life. But this very person had no desire for truth, wealth or glory ― he just was my guinea pig. And all the responsibility for what happened to him totally rests with me. Simultaneously, I have created and demolished, modernized and disfigured. Ten steps back after a big jump forward ― some mean joke, isn`t it? He was considered to be annihilated, but I impeded them. I have spent a lot of force to save his life, and now I am considered to be possessed. Not without reason, I should say ― not only have I cracked one`s fate irreversibly, I have nearly destroyed the whole station. And was it really humanely to let this creature live in order to please someone`s conscience and possession? My heart is groaning with the weight of oppression I have laid on it myself, but how can I suppress my ardour now, when the fire has just started to flare up? Another piece of puzzle took its place, clearing even more space for the further research. And let them call me a lunatic brute, whatever ― I do not care. I have already become an alchemist, and there was no two ways about it. I am afraid, a monster, who lost his real name and is known as “Biolizard” at the present time, is not the last cruel consequence of my naive possession."
“...Great Nature is capable of working miracles, and the greatest miracle of the Universe is creation of a new life. Not a single science, not a whole totality of knowledge, which has been gathered for millenniums, does not still allow human to possess the most mysterious power on the Earth ― the power of Creation. A scientist is not capable of believing in God, nevertheless each scientist would not mind becoming a God. After all, it is only within God`s power to create life. Following His footsteps means an attempt to match Him. We, just like others before us, dared to sin horribly. Led by stubbornness and impregnated with pride, we infringed on the Creator`s name ― me dared to become Creators ourselves. Our knowledge, though, is still limited, and our technology is far too imperfect ― but we intended to surpass the One, who stands incomparably beyond us... For it's true, a women is the greatest of the all creations of God. While creating a human, the Creator deprived him of abilities, which were akin to His own, in order to forestall the human`s greed. But in pair to human He created Her ― and give Her the power, which was originally inherent only to Himself. The power of Creation. Without any knowledge, any technologies, not in the name of greed, not to please her pride, woman ― a simple mortal being ― gained power to give birth to ones of her own kind. To a new life ― an eternal source. Something, which all the scientists in the world are incapable to do... And you are not just simple women. The fortune gave you a unique opportunity. Your potential even let you to leave humans` possibilities behind. Each of you would surely wish to become a mother of a child. However, inconceivable power of Chaos gave you opportunity, which none of you ever could dream of. Each of you can be not just a mother. All of you can be the mothers of the ULF. The Ultimate Life Form...“
“...Great Nature is capable of working miracles, and the greatest miracle of the Universe is creation of a new life. Not a single science, not a whole totality of knowledge, which has been gathered for millenniums, does not still allow human to possess the most mysterious power on the Earth ― the power of Creation. A scientist is not capable of believing in God, nevertheless each scientist would not mind becoming a God. After all, it is only within God`s power to create life. Following His footsteps means an attempt to match Him. We, just like others before us, dared to sin horribly. Led by stubbornness and impregnated with pride, we infringed on the Creator`s name ― me dared to become Creators ourselves. Our knowledge, though, is still limited, and our technology is far too imperfect ― but we intended to surpass the One, who stands incomparably beyond us... For it's true, a women is the greatest of the all creations of God. While creating a human, the Creator deprived him of abilities, which were akin to His own, in order to forestall the human`s greed. But in pair to human He created Her ― and give Her the power, which was originally inherent only to Himself. The power of Creation. Without any knowledge, any technologies, not in the name of greed, not to please her pride, woman ― a simple mortal being ― gained power to give birth to ones of her own kind. To a new life ― an eternal source. Something, which all the scientists in the world are incapable to do... And you are not just simple women. The fortune gave you a unique opportunity. Your potential even let you to leave humans` possibilities behind. Each of you would surely wish to become a mother of a child. However, inconceivable power of Chaos gave you opportunity, which none of you ever could dream of. Each of you can be not just a mother. All of you can be the mothers of the ULF. The Ultimate Life Form...“
"...The Universe is born, when two elementary particles come into collision. The same happens to humans` worlds ̶ when two creatures get into contact with each other, they give birth to a new planet…"
“... The limits of humans` greed may be only compared with the infinity of human`s foolishness. As a rule, they both accompany each other, and their totality often leads to much more terrifying and irreversible consequences, than a premeditated evil deed. Originally there is no actual evil at all ― like any emotion, evil is just a chemical reaction to an interaction of some elements. But one should not forget ― nuclear explosion is a chemical reaction as well... I told them it was dangerous. I warned he was not ready. I was afraid of blast from the past ― I did not want to repeat the incident of Biolizard ― and my worst apprehensions were fulfilled... ... They just overloaded him. Their reckless intention to test his potential resembles an attempt to pump a small test tube with a whole cylinder of gas. Of course, the vessel cracked, and the shatters hit everyone ho stood beside. Now even I have to acknowledge the existence of some divine forces in this dead space. Otherwise how could we survive this time? Twice is not a simple fortune... That day I came up with the idea of creating the ringed limiter-bangles. That day I also realized, that the comparative quiet of our lives ― lives of mine, Mary`s and Shadow`s ― was coming to an end... That day I learnt his limits ― I learnt he actually had no limits. That day I realized at last in full measure, what precisely I`ve created... But worst of all ― they realized that too...”
“... On the Shadow`s last birthday I prepared a special present for him. In looks it was a footgear of a slightly extravagant style, but in reality it was an exceptional work of high technologies. The sole was corresponded with a set of mini-turbines, and the inner sole ― with a flexible touchpad. The construction of these devices implied only Shadow`s ability to use it, and even then ― just in theory. An attempt should cost nothing, though. However, it appeared to cost a lot of effort. Now here is the point. Shadow lives at the expense of the Chaos energy, which circulates and regenerates within his own body. By the use of willpower he could concentrate his energy in his feet and activate the touchpad, which should recognize this energy, absorb and transform it into exhaust ― that should let the owner to take off the ground. Sounds like some kind of jet-skating. And it should be fueled by Shadow`s vital energy. That was the theory. The practice turned out to be much harder. But it was not a shallow amusement. I would rather say, it was a source of special skill ― Shadow was to learn how to control his own energy. Of course, these bangle which I made for him, secured him and the whole station against the casual discharges. Nevertheless, he had to learn how to control himself sooner or later. In our case, sooner was better. As I said, teaching Shadow to use this skill was tiresome. On my part it was quite difficult to explain Shadow how to do something, that only Shadow was able to do, considering the fact, that he had no idea how to do it. From Shadow`s part it was rather difficult to understand anything. The situation was unexpectedly saved by Mary, my dear granddaughter. She taught Shadow to associate the training with roller-skating, showing how to ride herself, in spite of physical weakness, caused by her disease. With a slight spontaneity she managed to achieve the result, which seemed unattainable to me, an old scientist.
... That was one of those infrequent moments of life on the station, when I could call myself quite happy. I was watching two most darling creatures to me ― they were as happy as me, holding each other`s hand, like siblings, and nothing ― nor on the Earth, nor in the whole space ― could separate them that moment. That moment our life seemed to be so light and simple...”
“Come on, it`s simple! Just like roller-skating...”
"Some day we shall be there - you and me, together to the end of times ... ... That was the only our promise to each other, which we haven`t managed to keep..."
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14.11.2011 в 03:42(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
Vague Vocies (from "Half-Life" the game)
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14.11.2011 в 03:46(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
"...A fragment of mysterious matter, which is known as Chaos. A source of energy, which creates and splits the Universe... Compressed in a compact form with a strict geometrical delineation, it resembled an emerald. But even in this material form it was too huge for an ordinary jewel ― as if it hinted at the inconceivable universal potential, which was hidden inside. From the depth of self it shed a radiance, as if it was a far-distant supernova somewhere in the space. This shining captured me, enslaved my mind and try to contact me, but I couldn`t hear it. I gazed on it like entranced, unable to tear myself away, but I couldn`t find a thing, which I tried to discern so hard. In front of me there was a real Philosopher`s Stone ― substance, which used to exist only as a myth, created by the desperate minds. Throughout the centuries they wasted their own lives and knowledge for a charming dream ― wasted in vain. But here it is, just in my hands ― what fate has promised me a myth embodied? Shall I manage to create an Elixir of Life, or shall I sink into oblivion, like the others before me, who have been already absorbed and demolished by their myth? The myth, which was deceptive, like the Truth, and alluring, like the Eternity..."
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14.11.2011 в 03:47(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
Space Ocean (from "Half-Life" the game)
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14.11.2011 в 03:49(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
Adrenaline Horror (from "Half-Life" the game)
"...I doubt an average human would think about perfection, while looking on this creature. As I look on it, I can not help wondering ― why all the most perfect achievements of humanity should always take the most detestable shapes? Progress in mechanics expresses in the war, creativity and inventiveness ― in the instruments of torture, potential of emotions and wealth of language ― in vulgarity and rudeness. An ambitious genius managed to create life, ending up by giving birth to a monster. An unselfish doctor sought for a medicine, ending up by bringing a disease. An outstanding scientist deduced a formula of a perfect source of energy, ending up by using it as the most dreadful weapon in the history. Finally, I created perfection as well. It was so grandiose and mythical, that I hardly hoped to ever see it. Now here it is in front of me, but it looks so dismal, that I can hardly look...
Huge, creepy and extremely aggressive monster. It resembled some prehistoric pangolin more likely, than a perfect outcome of organic evolution. Nevertheless, that was it. This creature did need no food, no sleep or rest; it ignored any diseases, its bones were harder than steel, its skin was more durable, than any fabric in the world. Its almost perfect body had only one disadvantage ― it was not perfect. Like a nugget, it was unique and perfect only by itself. It could not share its merits with anybody, its life could create another one. The ultimate life form appeared to be ultimately useless ― sounds as ridiculous, as depressing.
But the most horrible is to remember, that this awful creature used to be a normal furrian. Lost of speech, look and clear mind ― so was the price for perfection. That reminds condition of an alchemist in the twilight of his life after the decades of futile searching for the Elixir of Life. But this very person had no desire for truth, wealth or glory ― he just was my guinea pig. And all the responsibility for what happened to him totally rests with me. Simultaneously, I have created and demolished, modernized and disfigured. Ten steps back after a big jump forward ― some mean joke, isn`t it?
He was considered to be annihilated, but I impeded them. I have spent a lot of force to save his life, and now I am considered to be possessed. Not without reason, I should say ― not only have I cracked one`s fate irreversibly, I have nearly destroyed the whole station. And was it really humanely to let this creature live in order to please someone`s conscience and possession? My heart is groaning with the weight of oppression I have laid on it myself, but how can I suppress my ardour now, when the fire has just started to flare up? Another piece of puzzle took its place, clearing even more space for the further research. And let them call me a lunatic brute, whatever ― I do not care. I have already become an alchemist, and there was no two ways about it. I am afraid, a monster, who lost his real name and is known as “Biolizard” at the present time, is not the last cruel consequence of my naive possession."
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14.11.2011 в 03:51(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
“...Great Nature is capable of working miracles, and the greatest miracle of the Universe is creation of a new life. Not a single science, not a whole totality of knowledge, which has been gathered for millenniums, does not still allow human to possess the most mysterious power on the Earth ― the power of Creation. A scientist is not capable of believing in God, nevertheless each scientist would not mind becoming a God. After all, it is only within God`s power to create life. Following His footsteps means an attempt to match Him. We, just like others before us, dared to sin horribly. Led by stubbornness and impregnated with pride, we infringed on the Creator`s name ― me dared to become Creators ourselves. Our knowledge, though, is still limited, and our technology is far too imperfect ― but we intended to surpass the One, who stands incomparably beyond us...
For it's true, a women is the greatest of the all creations of God. While creating a human, the Creator deprived him of abilities, which were akin to His own, in order to forestall the human`s greed. But in pair to human He created Her ― and give Her the power, which was originally inherent only to Himself. The power of Creation. Without any knowledge, any technologies, not in the name of greed, not to please her pride, woman ― a simple mortal being ― gained power to give birth to ones of her own kind. To a new life ― an eternal source. Something, which all the scientists in the world are incapable to do...
And you are not just simple women. The fortune gave you a unique opportunity. Your potential even let you to leave humans` possibilities behind. Each of you would surely wish to become a mother of a child. However, inconceivable power of Chaos gave you opportunity, which none of you ever could dream of. Each of you can be not just a mother. All of you can be the mothers of the ULF. The Ultimate Life Form...“
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14.11.2011 в 03:54(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
Ave Maria (Geoff Zanelli)
“...Great Nature is capable of working miracles, and the greatest miracle of the Universe is creation of a new life. Not a single science, not a whole totality of knowledge, which has been gathered for millenniums, does not still allow human to possess the most mysterious power on the Earth ― the power of Creation. A scientist is not capable of believing in God, nevertheless each scientist would not mind becoming a God. After all, it is only within God`s power to create life. Following His footsteps means an attempt to match Him. We, just like others before us, dared to sin horribly. Led by stubbornness and impregnated with pride, we infringed on the Creator`s name ― me dared to become Creators ourselves. Our knowledge, though, is still limited, and our technology is far too imperfect ― but we intended to surpass the One, who stands incomparably beyond us...
For it's true, a women is the greatest of the all creations of God. While creating a human, the Creator deprived him of abilities, which were akin to His own, in order to forestall the human`s greed. But in pair to human He created Her ― and give Her the power, which was originally inherent only to Himself. The power of Creation. Without any knowledge, any technologies, not in the name of greed, not to please her pride, woman ― a simple mortal being ― gained power to give birth to ones of her own kind. To a new life ― an eternal source. Something, which all the scientists in the world are incapable to do...
And you are not just simple women. The fortune gave you a unique opportunity. Your potential even let you to leave humans` possibilities behind. Each of you would surely wish to become a mother of a child. However, inconceivable power of Chaos gave you opportunity, which none of you ever could dream of. Each of you can be not just a mother. All of you can be the mothers of the ULF. The Ultimate Life Form...“
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14.11.2011 в 03:56(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
"...The Universe is born, when two elementary particles come into collision. The same happens to humans` worlds ̶ when two creatures get into contact with each other, they give birth to a new planet…"
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14.11.2011 в 03:57(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
4000 Degrees Kelvin (from "Portal" the game)
“... The limits of humans` greed may be only compared with the infinity of human`s foolishness. As a rule, they both accompany each other, and their totality often leads to much more terrifying and irreversible consequences, than a premeditated evil deed. Originally there is no actual evil at all ― like any emotion, evil is just a chemical reaction to an interaction of some elements. But one should not forget ― nuclear explosion is a chemical reaction as well...
I told them it was dangerous. I warned he was not ready. I was afraid of blast from the past ― I did not want to repeat the incident of Biolizard ― and my worst apprehensions were fulfilled...
... They just overloaded him. Their reckless intention to test his potential resembles an attempt to pump a small test tube with a whole cylinder of gas. Of course, the vessel cracked, and the shatters hit everyone ho stood beside. Now even I have to acknowledge the existence of some divine forces in this dead space. Otherwise how could we survive this time? Twice is not a simple fortune...
That day I came up with the idea of creating the ringed limiter-bangles. That day I also realized, that the comparative quiet of our lives ― lives of mine, Mary`s and Shadow`s ― was coming to an end...
That day I learnt his limits ― I learnt he actually had no limits. That day I realized at last in full measure, what precisely I`ve created...
But worst of all ― they realized that too...”
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14.11.2011 в 03:59(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
“... On the Shadow`s last birthday I prepared a special present for him. In looks it was a footgear of a slightly extravagant style, but in reality it was an exceptional work of high technologies. The sole was corresponded with a set of mini-turbines, and the inner sole ― with a flexible touchpad. The construction of these devices implied only Shadow`s ability to use it, and even then ― just in theory. An attempt should cost nothing, though.
However, it appeared to cost a lot of effort. Now here is the point. Shadow lives at the expense of the Chaos energy, which circulates and regenerates within his own body. By the use of willpower he could concentrate his energy in his feet and activate the touchpad, which should recognize this energy, absorb and transform it into exhaust ― that should let the owner to take off the ground. Sounds like some kind of jet-skating. And it should be fueled by Shadow`s vital energy. That was the theory. The practice turned out to be much harder.
But it was not a shallow amusement. I would rather say, it was a source of special skill ― Shadow was to learn how to control his own energy. Of course, these bangle which I made for him, secured him and the whole station against the casual discharges. Nevertheless, he had to learn how to control himself sooner or later. In our case, sooner was better.
As I said, teaching Shadow to use this skill was tiresome. On my part it was quite difficult to explain Shadow how to do something, that only Shadow was able to do, considering the fact, that he had no idea how to do it. From Shadow`s part it was rather difficult to understand anything. The situation was unexpectedly saved by Mary, my dear granddaughter. She taught Shadow to associate the training with roller-skating, showing how to ride herself, in spite of physical weakness, caused by her disease. With a slight spontaneity she managed to achieve the result, which seemed unattainable to me, an old scientist.
... That was one of those infrequent moments of life on the station, when I could call myself quite happy. I was watching two most darling creatures to me ― they were as happy as me, holding each other`s hand, like siblings, and nothing ― nor on the Earth, nor in the whole space ― could separate them that moment. That moment our life seemed to be so light and simple...”
“Come on, it`s simple! Just like roller-skating...”
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14.11.2011 в 04:00(This is an illustration to the text www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169219555.htm?from=last...)
Schubert − Ellens dritter Gesang (Ave Maria)
"Some day we shall be there - you and me, together to the end of times ...
... That was the only our promise to each other, which we haven`t managed to keep..."
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23.11.2011 в 17:30(This is an illustration to the text www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169604362.htm?from=last...)
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23.11.2011 в 17:31(this is an illustration to www.diary.ru/~Epodemus/p169604362.htm?from=last...)
Crysis II Main Ttitle (from "Crysis II" the game)
"For everything you`ve done to me I`ll make you all cry..."